Depression is more of what you think!!
Perhaps there are so many people out there who may be suffering from Depression..yes, “suffering” coz mind me! Depression is a disease which ppl don’t understand…
Here are some sketches of the Inner voice of the broken soul taken from the diaries who has gone through it and understood it really well.
Extracted from Adiba Qureshi’s Diary
It’s like you are screaming and no one can hear you. You are the problem. You are always the problem. I stopped worrying about me a long time back. What the hell is wrong with me? Too much!!!! Too much is wrong with me!! I am wrong and there is nothing I can do about it. If I am not hurting myself, I am hurting everyone around me. There is nothing I can do about it. I am broken. Life is a pain! I wake up every morning and I am in pain I go to work in pain you know how many times I wanted to just give up? How many times have I thought about ending it? I am not angry I m in pain. And you put me here, the person who was supposed to love me more than anything. Do I need to calm down? No, I cant! It hurts! Just make it stop! please? it hurts! It hurts so bad I can’t breathe! I need the pain to be gone! How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened? What do you have to change inside to survive? Who do you have to become? I’ve had enough! You broke me… You broke my heart and I hate you… Because I still love you and I hate myself even more for it. How do I feel inside me? I wish I couldn’t feel anything any damn thing. It’s the LONELINESS, I can’t take it…..
And I know only one way to turn it off…
I AM SORRY !!
I REALLY AM !!
Extracted from Fiza Parkar’s Diary
To explain it, when something tragic happens in your life; your mind falls into a deep world of sorrow, grief, self-pity, anger, a hatred which leads to depression.
Overthinking and overanalyzing situations, thinking abt what should have happened instead of what has already happened leads you to blame urself more and think abt the worst at times.
You hurt yourself to an extent that any pain u experience after that feels numb to your mind…
You feel depressed and sad bcoz of what people think abt you, what are their opinions or rather say judgements abt u…you take their words too seriously and start believing that everything they say is the truth…to an extent that you start hating yourself…one of the main causes of depression is self-hate or you can call it as lack of confidence within you….
Extracted from Rushda Dadnak’s Diary
Behind her pretty smile was a story. The thoughts were orbiting in her head. Her biggest enemy was her “MEMORY”.
The heartbroken into pieces, scattered all the way, a shattered face, emotions lost, eyes swollen, full of tears, thoughts of giving up life and the flashbacks of infinite questions,,, “WHY this Happened to Me? “, “Have I Done the Biggest mistake of life?”, “WHY Me?”, “WHY only Me?”, “WHYYY?”. The heart screaming louder and louder as if no one in the world heard anything, She was depressed.
This was the time when she was about to give up life, No more to live, she locked herself in a dark room, lonely, her shadow followed her, ‘The Memory’ doesn’t leave her, cried, cried a lot, ‘A Loud cry’ “WHY? “.
“WHY? ” was the biggest question now. Suddenly she stopped crying, “A Silence ” in the room, a long breath, the room lit like the beautiful sun in the dawn, it was drawing her attention, she stood up, her eyes expressed curiosity, the fast-beating heart, uh-hicks were slowly decreasing, eyes stopped shedding tears, hands wiped tears from her face, a courageous look on her face, she could feel the silence with positive vibes, heavenly energy, as if the magic has happened; and she got the answer to the “WHY? “.
She suddenly stood and was wondering, yes! yes! yes! this was the last time she cried and screamed. She didn’t cry again and that answer to the “WHY?” gave a forever bright sunlight to the dark-lonely room. The shadow has now become a mistake that everyone goes through once in the lifetime, the tears have now turned into the tears of happiness. The heart is pure and beautiful like a rose that gives joy and everything changed with a “Y”.
She started recommending everyone to find the answer to their “Y’s”. Because the word “Why” ends with a fabulous letter “Y” encompassing the whole universe in it.
SAYYED REZA ALI